So, 'Twas You!

It's supposed to be read after this
http://atattooedmind.blogspot.in/2013/01/something-new-something-good.html?m=1  :)

The sweet rosy redolence that lingered
Was you
The glimpse of that orange hood
Was the love hiding in you
The familiar, benign presence,
Was you
You are my wish come true.


Bliss and a surreal romance..
Gently seeped out of you
A fleeting glance and I knew
It had to be you
Then began, the beautiful prelude
Of the tale - me and you.


Enamoured of the titillation,
That was brought by you
I stood in the pristine abode
Singing songs of dreamy elation
For I met you
An intense joy gripped my heart
When I heard the whisper of your heart


It wiped off a stray ocular dew,
The warmth that came with you
Grief and pain slithered away
'Twas time for them to bid adieu
You were hope and a feeling so true
'Twas you - something good, something new.

December Musings

Red as blood or red as the pomegranate juice,

Yellow as gold or shall I say yellow as the mid day sun,

Rhythm of a song or rhythm of absolute silence

Rain, a soulful symphony, ocean waves, the tranquil breeze…

This inebriated poetess needs no more disguises.

Colours, music, magic, beauty...

All that gives life to poetry, ends in you

You are no longer the muse, my love

But the spirit of love conjured by my written words

You are the poem

Written after the mayhem in the mind subsides

You are the end

The end which comes after a million prayers

The end which brings relief from intense suffering

The end which heralds a new beginning.

Wine

Shimmering drops of red tantalized the parched soul

All it sought was a touch, a touch of agonizing ecstasy

The wine seeped so deep, intoxication gave way to salvation

Secrets got unveiled, those shrouded for infinite centuries

A priestess of love under the enchantment of opium

Held the calamus, wrote the words, words love spoke.

The parchment, its caramel tenderness, marked by red ink

Embraced the quill as it wrote about the priestess' passion,

Her soul's chant of pleasure, worldly as well as divine.

They opened the portals of creation, as inebriated souls merged

And glistening with tears the portals of the inner sanctum closed.

November - The Story So Far

That star in the vast sky

On a cloud veiled night,

She names it after him.

Colored bottle, a parchment and ink

She writes his name again and again

And hides it beneath a mango tree,

Upon the wet sand on a rainy day

A quivering finger draws the letters

That spell his name, that spell her name.

What is life without this name, she says

That gives an identity to the soul

A soul that blends dreams with reality

A soul that breathes a bright hue into love

A soul that lives within him yet belongs to her.

Lovers

A string vibrates, the music enthralls
Violets blush, clouds fall from above.
In a spell woven by the petrichor,
She smiles, touching the soul of love
He pulls her close never to let go.
Every breath of love gently whispers,
Kissing the brightest shades of bliss,
A ballad of infinitely tender kiss.
Moist red tulips, quiver with delight
Relishing the sweet wine of eternity
In the quiet sanctum of the moonlight.
The lovers promise to remember forever,
All the charms that brought them together.

September - The Story So Far

Moisture laden restless breeze

Danced with a million trees.

So did her ecstatic heart.

Eyes glistened in a trance,

When another pair of eyes mirrored hers.

A beginning or happenstance, she wondered

Eyes spoke, laughed together

They dreamed, touched each other,

Love, a fine veil of love

Cascaded down, slowly, gently,

Creating a bliss like never before,

Summoning a magic, a romantic fervour.

Engulfed in love’s ever growing resplendence,

With straws of faith, peace and goodness,

The twin souls created a nest of togetherness.

He protected it with his steady might,

She nurtured it with her warm light.

Dreamers; they saw the end of a dark night.

The Dreamer's Plight

Beloved...
You are the spark in my eyes

The truth amongst the lies

You are the redolence

Joie de vivre

You are beauty and bliss

Love’s gentlest kiss;

Oh the pain it brings…

If I am the lone sail-boat

Amidst the ocean that’s endless

You are the serene luna

Whose proximity beckons the tempest

If I am the moth

Attracted to the brightness

You are the flame

That’ll annihilate my existence

Let me know you as an idea

An illusion...

A dream that’ll disappear

A memory that’ll fade away…

Drift away, my Beloved

Drift away…

Before my sanity loses its way.

A Pair Of Eyes

Midnight caresses  those dreamy contours

While the mirrors within reflect ebullience

Myriad emotions drift across the twin oceans

At times, trickling down in streams

At times, disappearing like the dreams

Like the fluttering frail wings of the butterflies

Soft veils touch those watery depths

Moistening and protecting the precious gems.

They are the portals to the soul within

Or cemeteries…

Marking the presence of two worlds

The known and the unknown.

The visible and the invisible.

A world that has words to emote

And a world without them…

A wordless world hidden in their soft gleam.

Lines Written In July

This odorous morn as the heart sighs

I think of you.

Aren’t you the precious ephemeral dew

Kissing the blades of the grass in the meadow

Or mayhaps the fleeting shadow

That belongs to me,

On days when clouds rush past the sun.

A thought of you,

Sometimes is the drug that heals,

Sometimes is the poison that kills

Sometimes… it’s the fire which burns

Creates a lot of noise, petrifies the soul

Sometimes, like the raindrops,

Creates the aura of love

Fragrant, as the rain drenched earth

Soothing the agony it brought.

Rain…

Just like the rain

You infuse the joy of living into me

You hold my heart 
As I paint the pictures with words

Just like the rain…

Drowning the chaos all around

Your presence lights up my essence.

Orange Paperboat

He is the paper boat

Orange coloured,

Blissfully unaware

Of the path he travels

Letting the zephyr

Decide his fate.

She looks on…

Distant and thoughtful

Orange is beautiful, she thinks

One of the seven colours

She possesses…

Whilst she wonders

If orange is the colour for her

The playful zephyr steers him away.

Untitled

They say four letters create the word 

A word that explains it well

Not enough...

'Tis a never ending tale

The tale of this fluttering heart.

How shall I put in words

A dream seen by the open eyes

A spell so delicately woven

One which never dies.

If I say, you are the sunshine

That brightens my world with its steady light

If I say, your presence creates the lost notes

That conclude my strains of love...

Not enough...

'Tis not enough to measure what's within

Words, they limit the flight of the heart

Yet I'll let them flow

Perhaps, someday...

Some of them

Some thoughts dipped in ink 

Will belong to us

It needn't possess you

Needn't infect you with euphoria
Needn't tell you anything but this:

The eyes which would look away

Will have a luminous light

That'll speak of a desire 

To hold you tight...

Greedily relishing,
The involuntary touch of moisture,

Speaking the muted words,
Quivering, parched lips

Will seek a soul dissolving kiss.

Words... they seem so insignificant

When it's about the depth, they'll be this poetess' fall

For the intensity of the unseen, unspoken shows her

They aren't enough...

Not enough to let you know

The dimensions her love can cover

The desire, pull, the bliss

Her restless soul feels

Uncountable ways of loving

The infinite wishes of togetherness

Not enough...

Words would never be enough.

Heart and Mind

Wounded and defeated
Lying in the dirt
Soaked with sweat and blood
The heart tastes its salty tears
While the mind wanders
Around the battlefield
Assessing the loss...


The heart looks at the mind
Tear filled eyes apologize
'It's okay', the mind says
'You were just being you
Like I was being me.
Without our conflict
We'd have won'


'Not everything is gone'
The heart whispers
Shall we hope again
To fly to that terrain?
To work together,
To defeat one foe
At one time?'


The mind smiles
And blinks away
The moisture of pain.
'Yes, once again'
The Heart and The Mind,
Together they fly
Into the vermillion sky.

An Apology

I apologise, I reach out to you
Uncountable times,
To relish the music in your words
To remind myself how it feels
With the eyes closed...
I apologise, I hold on to you
When sanity flees,
To feel the steady strength
In those words of kindness,
Words that rekindle
The spark of my essence
I apologise...
I am not good enough,
Like the first cloud in the sky
Yet I dare to love you
Without knowing why.

To Destiny

Toxins infused into the veins
To corrode my sanity
Makes you glow with ebullience
Naïve Destiny...
When would you learn?
My soul is the epitome of resilience
My agony, my bliss aren't your identity
They belong to my freewill...
Tonight I bleed, I cry, I scream
Tomorrow I may be euphoric
But it shall be avenged a million fold
When I relearn to live, the way I love.
Your deceit is timed,
My soul is timeless...
The reasons to rejoice are countless.
Your toxins can’t corrode it
As the sane perception of irreversibility
Is non existent in this insane optimist...
Oh, when will you learn,
Naive Destiny?
What you haven't given
Is something you can't take.
Play around with everything else
Take me to the mountain peak
Push me into a bottomless abyss
I shall re-align with my essence
And forgive you, always.

Say Yes

Indifference kills love

It uproots it from its abode.

The soul wails in agony

Seeking the healing remedy.

The beholder sighs

Reading the pain laden eyes

Which believe in the dupery

That the cure to the misery

Is more of indifference

More of apathy.

If only the flame of love

Burnt long enough

It’d have been the gentle dove

Strewing the magic of peace

And the intensely hued bliss

Into the magnificent blue sky

Love, 'tis the enchanted prism

The colorless rays of gloom

Lose the battle within
And split into a vibrant spectrum.

Shall we believe in the prism
And thus ward off
The diabolical touch of indifference?

Sun-Kissed Love

Not the silvery beam of the waning Moon

I seek the golden thread of the majestic Sun

To weave my arras of love

Luna enchants, romances the psyche

He is the muse, the poetry, the light

He is the desire of a loving heart

But he changes, slowly

Sometimes seducing the crescent lover

Sometimes the orb lover…

I may love all his forms

But the night he abandons the sky

Who’d hold me when I cry?

Eyes look down in reverence

The sky brightens with his presence

The reason a bard believes in eternity,

A poet believes in vitality,

The Sun smiles, quietly nourishing the Earth

Keeping the promise of togetherness

If I cry on nights without the luna above

He'll keep me warm with his gentle embrace

And help me weave my arras of love.

Cryptic Love

This naive heart of mine,

The purest part of me

Gets lost in memories and musings

Why do I feel something ‘twixt us

When there is naught I canst see?

I know, thou aren’t mine to love

Still they pull me back, the shadows.

Lips have turned pale and dry

Yet the soul, carrying a dream, wanders

Across the seas, the hills and the meadows.

Thy eternal redolence lingers around

Guiding me to that pristine isle.

Serene as the first drops of dew

That kisseth the delicate foliage,

My love spreads till the last mile.

A promise forbids me to speak of it

Often the unspoken renders divine bliss

My love is true, ‘tis immortal

Hidden deep in the heart’s chambers

Naught shalt unveil it, not even the death kiss.

The Muse

Intense and overwhelming

Shaping my existence

Why do I love you?

For I am the insignificant pebble

That you roll between your fingers

And toss away into the air,

In a bout of amnesia.

Perhaps I know...

So does this pen I hold

It’s those eyes, those oceanic eyes.

Deep within their luminous light,
I see my unborn child.

Sky and Him

The azure canopy whispered
‘I know thy secret,
O how poorly tis veiled’
Eyes moist with longing
She looked  into the sky
‘I love him, like I love thee
His kind eyes soothe my heart
Like the kiss thou plant on earth
His laughter reminds me
How to breathe, to live
Like the essence of a warm hearth
And that subtle smile...
I fall in love with him,
Again and again
Just like the pious rain
Is loved by the arid terrain.’

The Bride ( Written for a friend )

She glows in the light of serenity

As a heart full of love embraces her

Night gazes, clad in starlit placidity

Creating a portrait of them together,

Hands clasped, as she sees eternal bliss

In the incandescence of piousness.

The bond of love is sealed with hymns,

As the beautiful bride walks into a new life.

The Vow

A tantalizing touch

And fingers entwined

In the twilight dim

Under the spell

Of the divine Providence

In the midst of the bridge,

The Lovers' Bridge

Nestled in an aura

With the bright hue of love

Somewhere in Annecy

She stood, he stood

Looking into the depth

Of love, brimming

In those ecstatic eyes

An eternal vow was made

And sealed with a kiss

To be together, forever.

From One Heart To Another

Whispers from deep, sway with the zephyr
When you breathe, do they whisper to you?

When I feel a void within, do you feel it too?

I seek a moment, one fleeting moment

To know that you belong to the sentient

To see my picture in your luminous eyes

Which light up with your spell binding smile,

Deliquescing my existence turned to ice.

When I look into the depth of emptiness,
When solitude talks about its quintessence,

Do you get lost in the silent reveries?

When my words speak of intense longing

Does an unrest claw at your being?

I wish for one moment, a fleeting moment

To capture a memory of you

From behind the veil of the ocular dew.

Twin Souls

Million births, a million deaths

Uncounted heart beats

Incessant breaths

This arid journey would soon end

When our parched souls will blend.

Fuel of the dreams, of every beating heart,

The unconditional love kissed the earth

And melancholia embellished the azure sky

When the souls were torn apart

To watch life, its Delphian mysteries unfold,

To reach the destination left untold.

My Heart

Gossamery as the petals of a purple pansy

Seductive as the dew studded scarlet rose

Soft as the rain laden clouds above

Warm as the playful rays of the sun

My heart is the yellow bloom of Spring

The gray melancholy of the Fall

The retrospection of the Winter

The restlessness of  Summer

She’s an earthly, wise mentor

An airy, euphoric dreamer

A watery, emotional nurturer

A fiery, passionate lover.

She’s mysterious yet uncomplicated

She’s breakable yet indestructible
She's love, love is her, she's my heart.

To Rain

She thinks of art and its eloquence
Of natures's hypnotic elixir
Of earth and its miraculous beauty,

Of ocean's cadence
Of zenith and nadir.
And then he comes along
To nourish her soul with his pristine love
To sing to her a happy song
He is the emperor of the sky above
A fragment of whose soul she holds.

Love

Illusion, reality
Insanity, lucidity
I exist yet I don't
Like the footprints on the sand
Like the sleeping man's land
Define me, I'm a delusion
Touch me, I'm hallucination
Stand away, pine not for me
Look within in silence
And you'll know me.

How Can I Love?

A flickering, helpless flame
In the gentle breeze
In thy heart's crptic cove
I am a faint echo heard
Let me fade into vacuity
Promise me, thou shalt not love.


I turn pages, staring into the sky
They make noise,
The broken fragments of my heart
How long shall I wear the cape
And the deceptive mask of joy?
Promise me, thou shalt drift apart.


Lost soul, she refuses to heal
Refuses to cry and let the hurt out
Refuses the gentle embrace of fate
Refuses to believe what she feels
How can she open herself to thee
Promise me, thou shalt not wait.

Pilgrimage

Unfathomable love, thou art the elixir of sentience

The alkahest sought by a wandering alchemist

Who walks on a dreary path to attain thy effulgence

Unperturbed by the lunatic eddies of the winter mist.

A lone bard in the midst of a convulsing ocean

Awaits the mighty gale to carry her to the shore

A pelagic coast, where the ballads are serene

And the chime of love reverberates from its core.

The celestial glitter in the naive heart’s ruby streams

Nourishing life, its mysteries and its infinite joys

Is the essence of elements forming reality and dreams

Heal her soul, lead her to salvation, O divine voice.

Love #4

‘Love’ and ‘Soulmate’… What comes to your mind when you think of these words? The first thing that comes to my mind is a simple bliss and then a lot of other things follow. I’d like you to think about the time when love was a new idea to you. Opening your heart exclusively to someone was a joyous thought. Think about the time when movies like Dying Young, Pretty Woman, A Walk to Remember, Amelie, Serendipity, A City of Angels, When Harry met Sally, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Ghost, If Only, etc touched a chord within you in a way that almost made you want to sell your soul to the devil for the one you could love for an eternity. This is the simple bliss I am talking about. Uncomplicated, enchanting, pious, innocent and extremely generous. If only it stayed at that.

With time, a maturity comes, the mind takes over, it begins balancing emotions for survival. The world isn't very kind at all times. Now, what are the ‘lot of things’ that follow the simple bliss at let’s say, the mid twenties? For me, my top priorities are my career (I need to be independent and have a purpose in life other than being just the nurturer of a family) and my parents (I need to take care of them in every way I can). Then there are a few apprehensions like the responsibilities that come with a relationship (I take my responsibilities very seriously so it can be really stressful), the extreme fear of childbirth (We all have our irrational fears otherwise called phobias. This is one of mine and if I am in a relationship, it’s not going to be about just me), professional incompatibility ( I believe, two people must be equally passionate about what they do and be supportive to each other), the compulsion to be more social, to do things I don’t wish to do (I don’t have a problem in socializing. It's just that I love my solitude and can only accommodate my loved ones in my personal space), my mood swings, musical incompatibility (It’s a massive problem and I have no tolerance for it), uncomfortable silence and a few other things. There I said it. These are my vices or are they? They too contribute in making me who I am. Can I still love? Yes, in my own way. Not like the submissive, fragile and sacrificing women the Mills and Boon books talk about. I have erected my own barriers. I am not sure breaking them down is the right thing to do. Perhaps, when I find Mr. Right, I might? But with these barriers, would I even find him?

I will. Once somebody asked me, ‘If you could choose the kind of romance you wanted in your life, which book or movie should it be like?’ I didn't have an answer then. Today, I do. Every life is unique, every love story is unique and every person’s spark of madness is different. My man, my love story, my life won’t resemble anything I've read or seen. It’ll be tailor made just for me. It’ll be my missing piece and it won’t fit anywhere else. So, despite my unconventional thought process, my unconventional ideas regarding life, love and other things, I’ll find him and I’ll have my unconventional love story. Unconventional doesn't denote something that'd embarrass the people who love me. It might so happen, after a decade, I might laugh at this blog post but for now, I seek love yet I am scared of letting it come in a way that’ll turn my world upside down. Not because it’s mighty. It’s because I will let it render me helpless. Being helpless is the last thing I wish to be.

From The Depth Of My Heart

If I never find you, my love

If I never find the lost fragment

Of this restless soul.

If I don’t hear the voice

I so dearly wish to hear

If I don’t palpate your presence

If I don’t hear your heartbeat

If I don’t hold your hand

Draw invisible pictures

With my finger, on your palm

If I don’t sing to you

The songs in my heart

If I don’t hold you tight

When fear pulls me apart

If life drifts to its winter

Without a glimpse of you

If you being mine, only mine

Someday, somewhere, very soon

Is a figment of my imagination

It’ll still be worth it.

Dreaming about finding you

Hoping to be close to you

Smiling all the while I wait for you

For I believe in you, I believe

Someday, somewhere, very soon

You and me together will be true
Because I love you.

A Spooky Tale

It was an eerie night. The wind wailed like a heartbroken banshee. She sat smiling peevishly to herself, oblivious to the sinister night and thought of the ways she could disturb the peace of the sleeping household. She was no longer scared of the darkness or the invisible for she thought, ‘I am born out of the darkness and am the invisible’s nightmare.’ She lives in a world of fantasy. Sometimes she's Jean Grey and sometimes she's The Phoenix. She moved around the house, swaying to a bizarre melody in her head that had once scared her when she was a child. Something is not right here. What do you call a child who never stops being a child? Let’s rephrase it. It was the haunting melody that had scared her a decade back. The music that played when The Undertaker entered the ring. How she loved the wrestler! So, while it played in her head, she walked towards the master bedroom where her parents slept. It was dark as she entered. Just then she heard the bathroom door close. She glanced over the bed and realized it was her mother in the bathroom. Her grin widened as the stage was perfectly set for the idea in her head. She let her tresses fall over her face and stood waiting patiently, to pounce upon her prey.

Her eyes drowsy and half closed, the Mother stepped out. The poor unsuspecting victim. The Girl suddenly jumped in front of her. The Mother was petrified and her eyes widened in pure terror. All  the remnants of sleep dissipated. A weirdly muffled scream somehow escaped her throat. The Father woke up with a start. Before they could realize what happened, the Girl ran into the bathroom and bolted it shut. When she thought, everything was calm outside; she stepped out trying hard to suppress her laughter as her mother’s shocked face kept flashing in her mind. While she stealthily walked out of the master bedroom, she heard her mother say, ‘You wait till I get my hands on you. I might have had a cardiac arrest, you spoilt brat.’ A soft giggle floated in the air and the Girl ran out of the room.

She lingered around the dining hall feeling victorious and complacent. All the excitement got her parched. So she poured herself a glass of water and had taken the first sip when she heard the clang of bangles in the silence of the intense darkness. There was somebody at the other side of the table. As the sound of the anklets approached her, the water in her mouth refused to move past her throat. She spilled it out, placed the glass on the table and ran as fast as her feet could carry her into the master bedroom. She slid into the covers beside her mother and hugged her tight.

The Girl –‘Mommy. Please let me sleep here. I am scared.

The Mother – ‘Go, get your blanket’

The Girl – Please Mommy, let me stay here. I can’t go out. You have to understand.'

The Mother – ‘Serves you right and please grow up.’

Who was the ghost in the dining hall? It was the Grandmother. After she had her drink, she went mumbling into her room, ‘What’s wrong with this girl? She wanders around the house at 2.30 am and spits out water here and there.’

Happy Me!

The hiatus is over. I know it’s too soon but this happens to be the maximum duration of my baseless gloomy spells. My secret shifters do work. When has the gloom ever worth the time it makes one waste? So the sooner it’s gone, the better it is. Today I’m insanely happy. Why am I happy?

Is it the silly jumping around the house with ‘Breakeven’ by ‘The Script’ playing in the background? (It makes me feel alive.)

Is it the facial in a beauty parlor nearby that burnt a hole in my pocket? (I look good to me though and I feel good too)

Is it because Mr. Pixie thinks he’s a dog and licks me whenever I touch him? (He is so adorable when he does that. His tongue is so tiny.)

My lil fur ball of joy!

Is it because of the wonderful book that I’ve been reading called, ‘Stillness Speaks’ by Echart Tolle? (It’s so positive)

Is it because these days I enjoy being the referee when my grandparents have their childish squabbles? (Seeing them get in touch with their inner child gladdens my heart)

Is it because a stranger I met in the supermarket thinks I'm a school going 'kid'? (Ah! What shall I say about the feeling! I almost squealed in delight.)

I don’t know what it is. What I know is, when life gives me a million reasons to smile, why not just smile and let go of anything that’s displeasing. This moment, I have one good reason to be happy, which is, I’m alive and can find a way out of my misery. My happiness lies within me. It’s just that I forget to look in there at times. When one finds the tranquility within, one can observe the happy world around. One can either choose that or open up the umbrella of gloom and sit beneath it. I think, when it comes to being happy or unhappy, we have a free will.

Oh yes! I know what happened! It rained yesterday! What else do I need to be happy? The perfect cocktail of joy for me is a blend of Rain, Einaudi and my Dreams.

Enlightenment

Blessed by the chaste kiss of Seshat
Her refulgent soul began its journey
Through a ruined leprous Paradise
To spread the light of intellect.
To inspire the cursed derelict
Ignorance coaxed by the Spirit so tender
Abandoned his splendid nest
He looked on with a curious smile
As Enlightenment stepped in to rest.
A mute lightning brightened the sky
On a dark canopied starless night
And seeped into man to be his sight.
Seshat smiled in her divine realm
For an era had come to an end
The gloom of the night faded as it rained
Marking the Rising Sun's reign.