Christmas Wish

Where are you Christmas?

I think I found you

This time I’ll make you stay

You’ll hear us singing

Bells will be ringing

Now and forever, Christmas day…

I didn’t know this version of the song was there too. It took me long to discover it. Ten years back, on a Christmas evening, I was watching the movie, ‘Grinch’, all by myself, when this song began playing. I had tears in my eyes. Tears which refused to stop coursing down my cheeks. I could relate to that little girl, Cindy Lou when she sang with all the innocence -

Where are you Christmas?

Why can’t I find you?

Where have you gone away?

Where is the laughter, you used to bring me?

Why can’t I hear music play?

My world is changing, I’m rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too?

I was scared. What if the spirit of Christmas really did change some day? 

Cindy Lou was a believer, wasn't afraid of getting hurt (that's why she tried helping the Grinch) and she listened to her heart( which told her that Grinch wasn't all that bad). I pitied ‘the Grinch’ because he was trying hard to be vile, frightening and sadistic, when he was neither of those. He was just different and wasn’t understood. Today, after a decade, when I watched the movie (and coincidentally, it’s a beautiful Christmas evening, again), I could relate with the Grinch. I felt we aren’t too different. I had mixed feelings. I was sad, because the Cindy Lou in me wasn't supposed to change into the Grinch and was happy, because the Grinch has a change of heart in the end and Christmas hasn't changed.

I don’t want to think about the circumstances which turned me into the Grinch. There is no point in brooding over that. What I’m bothered about is, it’s time I peel off the multilayered façade before it becomes a part of me. I’ve had enough of keeping my heart chained. I want to be the person who felt, one who got overwhelmed easily, could express herself, react to pleasure and pain and most importantly, loved without restraints, without doubts.

This Christmas, I was shown a mirror and I didn’t like what I saw in that. It’s time for a change or rather undo the changes.

How I love the aura of this day! It’s magical! Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about what should I be wishing for this Christmas. I know now. I wish to be myself. Take off the façade. I wish to stop being too defensive (in an attempt to protect myself). I wish everyone else good health and happiness.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!