Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Christmas Wish

Where are you Christmas?
I think I found you
This time I’ll make you stay
You’ll hear us singing
Bells will be ringing
Now and forever, Christmas day…

I didn’t know this version of the song was there too. It took me long to discover it. Ten years back, on a Christmas evening, I was watching the movie, ‘Grinch’, all by myself, when this song began playing. I had tears in my eyes. Tears which refused to stop coursing down my cheeks. I could relate to that little girl, Cindy Lou when she sang with all the innocence -

Where are you Christmas?
Why can’t I find you?
Where have you gone away?
Where is the laughter, you used to bring me?
Why can’t I hear music play?
My world is changing, I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

I was scared. What if the spirit of Christmas really did change some day? 

Cindy Lou was a believer, wasn't afraid of getting hurt (that's why she tried helping the Grinch) and she listened to her heart( which told her that Grinch wasn't all that bad). I pitied ‘the Grinch’ because he was trying hard to be vile, frightening and sadistic, when he was neither of those. He was just different and wasn’t understood. Today, after a decade, when I watched the movie (and coincidentally, it’s a beautiful Christmas evening, again), I could relate with the Grinch. I felt we aren’t too different. I had mixed feelings. I was sad, because the Cindy Lou in me wasn't supposed to change into the Grinch and was happy, because the Grinch has a change of heart in the end and Christmas hasn't changed.

I don’t want to think about the circumstances which turned me into the Grinch. There is no point in brooding over that. What I’m bothered about is, it’s time I peel off the multilayered façade before it becomes a part of me. I’ve had enough of keeping my heart chained. I want to be the person who felt, one who got overwhelmed easily, could express herself, react to pleasure and pain and most importantly, loved without restraints, without doubts.

This Christmas, I was shown a mirror and I didn’t like what I saw in that. It’s time for a change or rather undo the changes.

How I love the aura of this day! It’s magical! Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about what should I be wishing for this Christmas. I know now. I wish to be myself. Take off the façade. I wish to stop being too defensive (in an attempt to protect myself). I wish everyone else good health and happiness.



  1. we oscillate towards the grinch and vouch for him at some point in our lives. Only natural. but what's great is finding our way back into rekindling hopes of good things to happen. that journey is always a nice one to take.

  2. You're right... Because I became the Grinch, I appreciate Cindy Lou much more now... All the oscillation is good. If it doesn't happen, we wouldn't know what we desire.