The background music: Part of me by By the coast
I am looking at the tarot cards spread in front of me, trying to figure out the answer to the question, 'Would I find love in 2021?'
The Oracle message says, 'The key to prayer is to forget what I think I need'.
A part of me says, 'Haven't you had enough?'
I guess, I have had enough for a million lifetimes. A massive heartbreak and an impending divorce. Oh yes, quite enough.
But I'm not closing my heart. I'll not allow myself to be bitter. That's not me. Hearts break but they don't stop beating. There has been a huge transformation this year. I writhed in agony, died but I rose from the grave again. Intact, if I may add.
There are so many things I'm grateful for! I've been blessed with a beautiful family, a very satisfying job, kind people around and good health.
I'm not very coherent tonight. I just don't want to be. Afterall, it's the last day of a very chaotic year.
Let me write down another list of traits. Traits that I wish my future partner has (if I ever meet him ). The previous list had 50 traits. The new one has just 5 so it is absolutely non-negotiable. These are:
1. Spiritually enlightened
2. Capable of honest, unconditional love
3. Kind, respectful and gentle (not one but three, I know)
4. One who stays
5. Understanding
I'll stop being silly now. But then, I'm a dreamer. I'll always believe in a happily ever after no matter how many times I'm broken to pieces or ripped to shreds or burnt to ashes.
